


Twas I

by Bam4Me



Series: Dress Shopping [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fanart, Fire, Gen, Genderfluid!Yuuri, Genderqueer!Yuuri, Hurt!Yurio, Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Masculine Presenting Genderqueer!Victor, Sick Fic, Trans!Yurio, Yurio sometimes calls Yuuri 'Mama' in this series, concussion, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 00:06:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9408641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: -who slipped on the floor and brained myself in the kitchen.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aflyingcoffeebean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aflyingcoffeebean/gifts).



> THIS FIC IS INSPIRED BY LITERALLY THE MOST AMAZING PIECE OF FANART I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> http://bubblegumdoodles.tumblr.com/image/156163932295
> 
> My best friend ever drew this, and they're amazing, and we were talking about that cat pic with the fireman holding the angry cat and we decided that it's Yurio: https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder795/400x/53899795.jpg
> 
> Anyways, Yurio is amazing, and I love my smol trans son. Victor is slightly less proud of his smol trans son right now.
> 
> iwriteshitficsyoi.tumblr.com

It happened, like all mistakes in their household nowadays, because Yuuri wasn’t home right now.

 

That is, to say, it  _ wouldn’t _ have happened if Yuuri had been there, but since there was no common sense to be found in the house while Yuuri was training with Lilia today, that meant that things were bound to go sour.

 

Mistakes were made, there were words said that no one can take back, and the kitchen got a nice black ceiling to match the modern black cabinets that Victor had insisted were an absolute  _ must have _ when they had picked them out in the store.

 

Yuri, being the helpful son that he claimed he was to Yuuri and Victor, had half grunted, half shrugged in approval when Victor asked him if he wanted to contribute to that decision, so Yuuri had sighed and let them have that one, because he was outmanned on that one.

 

Well, at least now Yuuri has a reason to replace those hideous things, he hated them.

 

“Yurio! Do you smell something?”

 

Victor stepped out of his and Yuuri’s room, scrubbing his hair dry after a shower. He could smell something odd, and he wondered for a second if a window was open, because it smelled like backyard barbeque.

 

Hmm, that sounded like it would be good for dinner… wait…

 

“Oh fuck, aren’t we making a chicken?” 

 

Victor ran off towards the kitchen, and sure enough, the oven was putting out a black vapor. Honestly, it looked like the mouth of hell, and Victor had to stop for a good five seconds before he suddenly lunged for it, turning the oven off before opening it up, which then lead to the fire alarm -which seemed to have completely  _ not cared _ until now- to let out the most annoying sound Victor has ever heard in his entire life.

 

Victor coughed a few times, waving a hand to try to get rid of the fumes, but they were coming out too fast. He pulled up his shirt to cover his nose when he heard Yuri come into the room behind him.

 

Well, let’s reiterate, Yuri didn’t so much  _ come into _ the room, as, run in screaming unintelligibly, and immediately slip in his socks on the tile, and brain himself on the floor. It was quick as a shot, and Victor was still coughing at the fumes when he heard the thump on the floor.

 

The entrance had been enough to pull Victor’s attention away from the hell pit opening in his oven long enough to focus on something else. Yuri was laying on the ground, holding his pounding head while he curled in on himself, looking pained.

 

After a quick thought to his kitchen about to burn down, he shook his head and left that before he inhaled any more fumes, and got to the other side of the kitchen were Yuri was laying helpless. If the house did start to burn down, he wasn’t leaving Yuri there, no matter what.

 

It was a little hard to grab him, curled in on himself, mostly because Victor could barely see anything with his eyes watering like that, but he finally pulled the boy up, slightly awkwardly under his arm before heading for the front door.

 

The air was cold compared to the inside, and the first thing he saw when he got outside was Yuuri standing in the driveway outside of his car, with a completely shocked look on his face.

 

“What…”

 

Victor heard a groaning noise come from under his arm, and looked down to see Yuri coming around finally, looking at the street with a glare. He looked up after him, and found pretty much all their neighbors staring at them. Some of them were taking pictures.

 

See, thing is, their neighbor’s reactions towards the trio living there always seemed to be mixed between knowing that the three of them were world champion skaters, and constantly interested in the horrible things they all seem to get into together.

 

Victor had the feeling that these pictures were going to be all over the internet later. He was going to have to do some major social media clean up to keep their fans calm.

 

Yuri, seemed to be a little less calm than him though, because the blonde let out an angry growl in his throat, before yelling. “That’s right!”

 

“Oh, Yura, please don’t-” Victor’s pleads went unheaded, as usual.

 

“Twas  _ I _ who set the house ablaze!”

 

“Oh, fuck.” Victor didn’t know what to say other than that. Some of their neighbors looked amused, and some concerned. At least two of them were judging them.

 

He sighed, and heard Yuri start groaning under his arm again, obviously still in pain, and Victor set the blonde down as gently as he could in a soft snow bank.

 

When he turned around, Yuuri was on the phone with the fire department.

 

“Watch him for a minute, I’m going to go open all the windows.”

 

Yuuri nodded, watching him go with an unamused look. This is what he gets for leaving them alone for more than two hours at a time.

 

When he finally hung up the phone and looked over to Yuri -who was laying with his head shoved in the snow bank- Yuri was loudly rambling to himself.

 

Some of the neighbors were still filming them. Fuck.

 

“Yura, Yura are you okay?”

 

Yuri groaned, lifting his head with what looked like extreme effort. “Mama? I don’t feel so good.”

 

Yuuri sighed, crouching into the snow next to him, gently petting along Yuri’s brow, pushing the damp hair out of his eyes for him. “I can tell you don’t, Yura, sweet boy, what happened?”

 

Yuri sighed, leaning towards him. “Hug me?”

 

Yuuri nodded, helping the boy sit up in the snow before pulling him into his side. Yuri sighed, leaning into him. “Alright, Yura, are you okay? Your head hurts?”

 

Yura nodded. “Hit it. I think. Floor is hard.”

 

Yuuri nodded, letting Yuri curl up into his side like he did when they were on the couch together.

 

Victor came back out to find them like that one the ground, and sighed. He had a confused looking Makkachin by his side, making Yuuri sigh, happy the dog wasn’t hurt. “Well, the oven is no longer spitting fumes, but the kitchen is charred. We might want to get together some bags and stay with Yurio for a week while we get the place cleaned.”

 

Yuri looked up at the sound of his name, but didn’t otherwise react to Victor’s words. He had been sleeping before the alarm had woken him up, and now he was dizzy. Behind them, the house was vaguely smoking from all the open windows. Yuuri sighed, hoping that the brand new china set in the dining room had been spared from this whole ordeal. Looking back on it, it was a godsend that he stored it there, instead of the kitchen. His mother had sent that set.

 

“Guys.”

 

Yuuri and Victor blinked down at Yurio. They were starting to hear sirens in the background, and Yuuri sighed, thinking about how this was all going to be a mess. “Yes, kotenok?”

 

Yuri sighed at the nickname, squeezing Yuuri’s fingers in his. “The ice feels good on my head, but my vagina is frozen.”

 

Victor and Yuuri took a few seconds to reply to that, but after a look down, sure enough, Yuri was only wearing thick leggings and socks in the snow. Victor scrambled to help him stand up from the snow bank. “Sorry, Yura. Let’s get you in Yuuri’s car and turn on the heater.”

 

He helped Yuri over to the car and in while Yuuri turned to meet the firemen at the end of the driveway. Makkachin was already waiting by the car door for him, which made Victor sigh, happy that the dog hadn’t run back into the house.

 

Today was shaping up to be an interesting day.

 

***

 

Two hours later, Yuuri, Victor and Yuri were all at Yuri’s grandfather’s home, Yuri with a concussion, curled up with Yuuri on the couch. He wasn’t going to be skating for a few days.

 

Meanwhile, back at their house, now locked up for the night because the cleaning crew wouldn’t be getting there till Monday, a motorcycle pulled up to the house and the driver took off his helmet.

 

Otabek stared at the burned areas around their kitchen windows with confusion. He had been about to surprise the three of them with movie night for the four of them -he was trying to get on Victor’s good side to be honest- but this was new.

 

“What… the fuck… I think I missed something.”

**Author's Note:**

> iwriteshitficsyoi.tumblr.com
> 
> Fanart: http://bubblegumdoodles.tumblr.com/image/156163932295
> 
> Inspiration: https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder795/400x/53899795.jpg


End file.
